A few weeks into the uncertainty of this pandemic, before we had any idea what was headed our way, a bizarre sense of excitement over a forced quarantine trumped my fear of catching COVID-19.
The idea that there would be a literal shutdown of the daily frenzy of my life, brought on not only by external forces but also those self-imposed, was a welcomed guest. We had to stay home and we even had “permission” to turn off anything that was not essential. I embraced this window of time to quiet the noise, to re-center, and even tackle some projects I seemed to never find time to do.
I know this is not true of all of us. This has been really difficult for a lot of people. So many of you have worked harder in the last 4 months than you have in the last 4 years. You have dealt with things in the physical and emotional realm that you never saw coming. You were forced to transform your business models and your living rooms, you filed for unemployment, remained in an abusive relationship, and said goodbye (if you were even allowed) to people you love. You have experienced grief, whether through the loss of life, disappointments, or unmet expectations, hopes, and desires.
I have too.
But while practically this pandemic may have played out differently for people, one thing has been the same: we’ve all been given an invitation to different… and to how we will respond as a result of what we are seeing and experiencing.
So may I confess to you?
Amidst the initial honeymoon
of banana bread and clean closets, of
nights curled up with my family watching a new show and sleeping past 6:00am, a
new (unwelcome) reality has settled in: this season has stripped me of my familiar hiding places.
Take away the hurry and the busy
that gives life to my idols and leave me with what? The
reality of what needs my attention.
You see, ‘the projects I never
find time to do’ extend way beyond the clutter that needs to be cleaned out in
my closets and kitchen drawers. It’s the
clutter in my mind. And my heart. It’s in my marriage, my parenting, and my
friendships. It’s in my habits, and in
my excuses.
Unscheduled and unpredictable have
unleashed a very vulnerable space for me… space where even though I have tried, I unsuccessfully ran away from the most
essential issues I must face.
After all, quarantine, by
definition, is imposed isolation. We literally have nowhere to go.
Even our tried and true hiding places give way in isolation.
So don’t go. Don’t leave this time. Quit hiding and instead allow yourself to
be found.
Stay.
Stay with me and surrender to this space. You know what needs your attention. Don’t dismiss it because you will miss it…you will miss the invitation to work on the real projects – the ones that cause you to emotionally quarantine, day after day, year after year.
...and you know as well
as I do that whatever (figuratively) plagued you in February is just waiting
for you in “getting back to normal”.
So choose a better normal, even if it means some yuck until we get there. I believe it will be vastly better than we ever thought possible.
