My Dearest Kristen,
Seeing your name like that - in type, on paper – just made you pause, didn’t it? Perhaps it even took your breath away for a second, causing you to check it, re-read it? First wondering, “Why is He writing to me?”, followed by seeing your actual name there is perplexing.
Good. It should be…this should cause something to rise up in you, especially when your name follows “My” and “Dearest”.
Because it’s true. I named you, you are Mine, and you are so, so dear to Me.
Sit for a second and take it in. Don’t be so quick to move on like you often do, dismissing a compliment or thinking, “This is beautiful, but intended for someone else.” That someone else includes you…is you. I’m speaking to you. Let this truth move from your brain allllll the waaaaaaay dowwwwwn into the very heart that I, too, created.
I know it’s hard. Believe me, I do. It grieves me because I never intended it to be this way…that you would find it hard to comprehend the depths of my adoration for you. Many things have hurt you, making it difficult for you to receive love like mine. Over time, you will come to understand that…that all I ever wanted (and still want) is for you to feel unimaginable, free-of-conditions, love. It’s possible, Kristen. It’s right there for the taking – just grab it and unwrap it like you did all those Christmas mornings as a little girl. (Yes, I was there.)
Still nothing? Maybe this will help: picture your girl…your precious Addie…and consider how you adore her. Consider how you delight in her, how she captivates your heart, how you want to spend every moment with her, talking with her, teaching her, holding her, learning about her, studying her, laughing with her…how you love stroking her hair and softly touching her face…how you want to protect her, to keep her safe, and yet how you want her to devour all that life has to offer and to shine her beautiful light among the darkness that exists around her. Consider how you see her…how you know things within her that she doesn’t even know she has…her wit, her intuition, her soul…and how you want nothing more than goodness for her life. You want her to experience abundant life and to unleash all that is within her, because you know she has so much to offer this place. You want to do all you can to show her the way, to bring out what is in her, to shape her heart first so that her actions follow. You work tirelessly to give her the best so that she will be ready to do the same for the world…right?
This is how I feel about you, Kristen.
Yes, I created you, which in and of itself is amazing. (Remember when you were pregnant with Addie? It was totally mind-blowing…all the things that had to go right for her to be growing inside of you…). But even beyond that – and since then, I’ve been pursuing you. Like, actively trying to reach you…to get your attention...to have you turn around and realize that there was something – someone – who wanted to give you more than anyone or anything else is capable of. I knew that at some point, you’d discover I was there, but I knew I had to be patient, and even clever. I strategically put things in your path that would help you find me…planted many seeds…and you found me, right next to you, where I've always been.
Like a runner in a Relay, you turned around and found me there. And like the runner, you grabbed the baton and got back to your leg of the race with Me on your winning team. Ultimately, Kristen, you had to choose me back, just as I chose you.
And I’m so glad you did. Things could’ve continued to go so differently had you not. You don’t need me to tell you that; you already know.
But there is more.
So much more. I have much to show you, to offer you, and to give you. What you’ve tasted so far is but a sip. I’ve enjoyed, so much, sitting with you as you’ve nibbled and tried some new things. We’ve had some amazing moments together and I have loved being with you. But my sweet girl, you must keep coming back for more food – the right kind of food - and allowing it to get into your all of systems to provide the nourishment needed to continue on, to discover all that I have for you. Perhaps you thought you had enough for the time being and could sustain yourself for out there, with just enough in your tummy to get by. But getting by is never what I had planned for you…how little you have settled for when abundance awaits you.
I also need your help, Kristen. I tried several different ways to get my work done...to show others what I've shown you. Unfortunately, I had to make the biggest sacrifice of all to keep my heart’s desire moving forward. I want everyone to know about Me and what I have for them, but I can’t do it alone. You understand...attempting to conquer your to-do list without help is impossible. Besides, when we enlist others, it’s way more fruitful for us and for those who get to share in the work.
That’s another reason why I chose you…because I’d like your help showing others that there is another way…a better way. This is big work, important work. Literal life-saving work.
I chose you for my team. No audition required, Kristen. You made it, just as you are.
Kristen?
I sense you are hesitating…as though you know this at some level but are struggling to believe it – truly believe it – because people, circumstances, and perhaps even your own choices have made you believe otherwise. Is that true, my dear Kristen? I’m so sorry. As I told you earlier, I never intended it to be this way.
Can we talk about it?
I’d like to show you some things that will help you…will help us…if you are willing to go with me. It’s been a long-time coming and I’m excited that you are more ready than you were before. I will take it slowly. I will be gentle with you. I know you trust me…I know you believe me. This is the beauty of us having history together. As we do this…move forward, I mean…remember what we’ve already overcome together. We have so much to celebrate, Kristen!! Our track record shows that we can do hard things when we stick together.
Let's go.
