Sister of Serendipity

“Baby Steps.”

That’s what Marcy said to me last night as I shared my “performance addiction” related to my first entry of this project that has been over a year in the making.

Well, longer really.

But isn’t that true of any meaningful adventure? We ponder, we pray, we talk ideas over with trusted advisors. We pray some more. Don’t hear anything? The project is shelved, that is until we hear something else…a whisper, a door opening, the encouragement of a dear friend, each propelling us closer to ‘the launch’. What prevents us from just taking those first steps? Fear of failure? Desire for the approval of others? A half-baked plan that can’t be started until the entire strategy is outlined in a perfect series of work streams? For me, all of the above. Each stronghold, nestled sorely into the root of my personality, has crippled me from serving Him in the way I believe He’s calling me to serve.

Where “this” – the above referenced meaningful adventure - all REALLY started was sometime in 2006 in the office of our beloved Associate Pastor, Nancy. I was new in my walk (not new in my faith) and knew enough about scripture to not just be dangerous, but all out silly. I was at a crossroads in my life (one of the many): to continue working or stay at home with my kids. (Can I hear an "amen" from so many of you who have experienced the same dilemma?) I was working part-time in a coveted role and many would say I had the best of both worlds: 3 full days in the office and 4 full days at home with my children. Yet something was tugging on my heart and I needed to listen.

But what was I hearing? I completely lacked any ability to be objective. There was so much noise swirling around in my head and I needed Nancy (adorned in her superwoman cape) to lead me to THE place in the Bible that pointed EXACTLY to what it was I should do. I laid it all out for her…you know, the pro/con list we all make when pondering big life decisions (a.k.a. our complete and utter reliance on self). And then, I think I literally asked her if there was a verse...some specific scripture...that spelled out God’s desire for women as it related to staying at home or working. After all, He covered everything else in the great Book!

She listened intently, as Nancy does, with eyebrow raised and hands laid upon her open Bible. “So, what should I do?” Her response, likely obvious to the more spiritually mature, profoundly changed the way I listen to Him now. “I think God speaks to us in many ways…through prayer, reading scripture, conversations with friends, opportunities that open and close…”. She then went on to describe the idea of crossroads - the very point at which these “listening posts” intersect - and that when we listen…when we work to hear…we often find our answer.

Rats. I was really hoping for a verse.

And so it began. That day, in Nancy’s office, marked the beginning of what I hope to share with you here. I’m not sure what it will look like, how organized the delivery will be, or even whether or not you will find it interesting or impactful. These are simply my reflections...my stories...what I'm learning "along the way" of life.

I think I feel the shackles loosening…